If I say it aloud,
Will it serve as cathartic?
If I let it flow into words,
Will that help me heal?
Will it stop me from visiting you in my dreams?
Make it pause for a little while, help me breathe?
“It will be if it is supposed to be”, I know you said it,
And I waited in my purgatory hoping you’ll see this.
No one else can ever put all your details in a simple order!
The taste of your wine and the munchies that goes with it,
The food that you like and the exact spice levels in it.
The type of kiss that you enjoy and that little spot behind your ear,
The smell of your body and the perfume that you would not wear.
The kind of coffee table you’d have and what you like in the morning,
Or when you’ve had a long day and the kind of sleep for which you’ve been longing.
Can anyone else whisper the words in your ears what exactly is it that do you want?
Have you close your eyes and make you feel how you wanted to, all along.
Tell me these and I’ll accede to our separation,
Else the feeling of denial might never leave its gestation.
You tried to move away and I was jealous,
And there may have been small little parts when I’ve acted nothing but callous.
I don’t have a drive and what carries me around is the passion,
A burning desire to not let things escape and all I have now is that too familiar desperation.
I know we laughed about out not forgetting our love and all that jazz,
But tell me if you believed it were remotely possible that this won’t leave me mad?
I cannot let you go I cannot let you leave,
The door is always open and the window is up by a creek.
Your home is waiting for you, the bed unmoved, not a cobweb has crept,
The place and my existence denying you ever left.