along the way i see flashes of my past. i stumble my way out of the scary ones, the ones that haunt me still making me shiver – the daemons of my past. it is a test. you have to cross the ring of fire and not be afraid. don’t fear, and walk. walk through the bad and then, only then you will reach the part where the happy ones reside. now this is the tricky part. for you don’t want to leave the happy memories behind. i forgot that and i was stuck. for three days and three nights i kept wandering down the lane, living each of the happy times, again. i looked at myself, and i realized, that my present was being eaten down by these memories of the past, and i had to escape. i ran, i ran hard, afraid, down by the fear that my past was going to eat down my present.

i reached the end of the path. there was a road. the road i saw each day in my dreams, the passage to safety- from my inhibitions, from my fears. the shadows invite me, to the promises of yesterday, the images of what could have been but never happened. i look for company, i realize that i am alone. i always thought that i have been alone, but never lonely. the realizations hit me hard. they saddened me, i break down, i cry.

i pray, for a hand, for i couldn’t walk down that passage alone. fatigued, i sit down. i fall asleep, i dream.