moving on

The nightmares never stopped, they still haunted him every other night; he just found a way to get used to them. Regrets were slowly becoming a part of his psych, and the most he wished he did was treating every experience as if it were his last- he hated being a dreamer, that he believed too much in future and what might it bring. He had been trying to move on for so long, and he knew that it will come only when his heart understood that there was no turning back. But his heart was even more of a dreamer than he and living life in fantasies was so much more comfortable than the world out there.

He had long forgotten what it felt hearing her voice, but the sound of her happiness and the little noises that she used to make was something that he couldn’t escape from. The past has a way of giving an appearance of being so much more than it were, and the present paints a picture a little dire than it actually is. The only saving grace is the promise of a rosier future, but can it come for him without accepting that some chapters in life are meant to be closed without a closure?

He had never been much of a talker, most of the times words couldn’t describe what he was feeling. And for the life of him, he couldn’t understand why was it so difficult to articulate love, but so easy to express disappointment. And wasn’t it what he did, so many days, so many times. The memories come back to haunt him time and again and he wishes that he had known what life would be without her. Darkness had always been his silent companion, with her around, even the sun turned its gaze on him.

He had laid bare his darkest secrets with her, even the ones he was afraid of telling his own self. He had always been a strong person but sometimes the want for someone to hold his hand telling that this too shall pass overwhelmed his existence. He lived in the prose he could never write, wanting to realize that the thing that he was holding on to didn’t exist anymore. In his madness he kept praying for a storm, and dreamt that the storms will bring him peace.

Could they ever?