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People say that it will get better. People say that things will change. They promise a lot. They paint a rosy picture in your head.
They lie.
You can do it, you can have the empire, without realizing that it is of dirt. You can play with it for a while, make a palace out of sand. And when rain comes, watch it crumble, try to save it knowing that there is nothing you can do.
You can also remember all the moments you were a split second late, the decisions you took too long to take, the memories you couldn’t make. Nothing blows as a candle in the wind. Nothing stays like an amorphous anathema. When your victories are your own, why does it become so hard to accept defeat as your own wayward child- which you nurtured but somewhere, something went wrong?
What is it that makes you afraid? What is it that you’re haunted of? Are you so afraid of rejection that you have accepted it, getting along with your life like it matters not? For how long do you think that you can carry on this charade?
You cannot ever find the time to do all the nothing that you want. Go watch a movie, go listen to a song, sing a melody, try to be happy. Try to discover the heart that seems lost. Indulge it, again. Be prepared to get it broken. If it does, and in all probability, it will, start afresh.
Fall in love. Anything will do. As long as it serves an inspiration to the fear that it will go away, keeping you on your toes, alert, for the storms to come.
It will get better. Things, they will change. I promise you. Do cry, but when the tears dry, come to your senses, over the one that got away.