Why aren’t you here tonight?
I could touch you,
Kiss you, feel you.
Hear your soft sigh as I run my fingers down your skin,
Feel you quiver as my lips run against the contours of your neck.
Let a hand free so you could guide it wherever you chose,
And hold you tight,
So tight, when it hit the right spot.

What wouldn’t I give to have you here by my side,
Pull you close,
Breathe your skin,
And the secrets that the night lets fly.






Bade ho rahe ho aap


bade ho rahe ho aap

Chalo bete, bahar jaao,
Shaam ho rahi hai,
Thoda ghoom ke aao.
Dost intezaar kar rahe honge aapke,
Abhi umar hai,
Khelo, koodo, muskaraao,
Beta, bachhe ho abhi aap.


Arre, abhi tak bahar?
Waqt ka andaaza naa laga,
Yaa dimaag shaitaan ko de aayin aap?
Padhai karni hai,
Hazaaron cheezein hain zamaane mein,
Kab samjhoge,
Beta, bade ho rahe ho aap.


Haan, pata hai humein,
Wo aapke bachpan ka dost hai,
Magar hamaari izzat ka bhi kucch karo lihaaz.
Mahaulle waale kya sochenge?
Ek hi to beti hai hamaari,
Naam kharaab hua to jaayenge kahan?
Sharma ji ki dekho beti,
Government school mein padhke laayi hai 85%,
Private school mein padhke kya yahi seekha aapne?
Kab samjhoge?
Bete bade ho rahe ho aap.


Haan, maana aap bade doctor ho,
Bade sheher mein rehte ho,
Lambi gaadi hai aapki!
Magar humaari zindagi to yahin hai.
Biraadari kya sochegi?
Nahin beta, maana wo bhi doctor hai,
But apni jaat ka to hai nahin.
Hamaare khaandaan mein kisi nein aisa nahin kiya,
Komal chaachi ki betiyon ko dekho,
Kaise dhoom dhaam se vidaayi ki thi.
Sirf apne baare mein mat socho gudiya,
Beta maan jaao,
Beta bade ho gaye ho aap.




Parallel Universe




The parallel universe,

Oh it paints a beautiful picture for us!

There are starry nights and flickering away,

Is the warmth of an amorous candlelight.


There are no barriers, there are no boundaries,

I can feel you by my side and you me.

Where nights smell of love, and we paint our rosy pictures!

I climb on top and you push me to the side,

Maybe playfully sing that the time’s not right.

Then I hold you close and you give me a kiss,

Tell me, maybe, just maybe, this life doesn’t go amiss.


And this life could have turned a little better,

Don’t you wish we could have met somewhat earlier?

Where you weren’t bounded by your rules, and I weren’t that free from mine,

We could have given it a shot and seen it through time.


Time passed and took our reckless yonder of youth,

Where we could experiment, and wasn’t there plenty o’clock to mend?

There isn’t now and all we have are the fortresses in our heads,

And no one can breach the walls of memories that we have shared,

No one but us.

And every night, we will drink our glasses of wine,

Travel distances, the realms of time,

And when you are tired, I’ll kiss you to sleep,

Maybe, just maybe, you’ll tell me if this life doesn’t go amiss.


Oh the parallel universe,

What a beautiful picture it would be!

There will be starry nights,

And flickering away in the distance,

Be the warmth of our amorous candlelight.




Angel of the morning


their lives

They always brought out the best in each other, in most parts. Nothing is perfect, but what they had, they believed it to be as close as it gets. No promises, no commitments of being around till the next lifetime- it was about living in the moment, garnering the most from every second they had together, loving the other to bits even when they knew it was not for forever. Maybe they realized, for the sake of sanity of their minds and their souls, that the fires that burn this bright, are not meant to last.


She didn’t only give away her heart to this nomadic, affectious mess of a human being- she exchanged a part of her soul. Was it a surprise, then, that she was always left wondering with the question of what could have been?

He had fallen for her the moment that he lay his eyes on her, but tried to play it cool every time. She was an exotic goddess, not to be touched, not to be trifled with- share a few smiles, roam some miles- and that was about that. But with her every laugh, he fell some more; with every step, found himself at a place it was getting more and more difficult to come back from. He found himself falling in love, found himself falling very very fast. How can be so astonished now that he finds it very difficult to stand back up again, now that it is over?


 She was his Sweet Child, and he was her perfect recipe for the peaceful Sunday morning. The excised the same routine every time they went to bed together- she trying to sleep, he sneaking a kiss on her neck. She faking getting agitated, him holding her closer. She opening her eyes in the morning to find him already awake, just looking at that perfect face for hers, waiting for her to speak something, anything, in that angelic voice of hers. The list goes on and on. Their afternoons, their evenings. Their walking together in the snow for the first time. The twinkle on her face when she looked at anything cute and him just looking at her being a carefree soul- if only for a while. The passion in his voice when he used to speak about something he felt for and her just listening to him till he broke off and looked and her and smiled the biggest of smiles. Her throwing her little tantrums, and him loving her for that- he always thought that she looked so goddamn cute when she did that! Him throwing his inane fits and her consoling him to see the right way- she couldn’t believe he was still such a kid!


Ah, they were perfect, weren’t they? Maybe even they realized that! They didn’t have a honeymoon period, nor a time of dull inertness. They came together, the spark in each other was too strong for them not to be entwined. They loved, and they loved crazy. Maybe she had to leave, maybe he couldn’t make it work.


But as she parted her lips away from his for the last time, she knew she wouldn’t be able to feel the same again. And he, as he struggled to let her go, he knew he was letting go of his life.


High Hopes




I wasn’t always like this, you know! Looking at the door- hoping for a knock, listening to the sound of the footsteps, wishing, praying that they be yours. I wasn’t always this senile, but you always got out the extremes from me, the whole range of emotions that I thought that I had buried deep inside- top to bottom, dawns to the dusks, you got them all out. When I was with you, I was a man possessed, without, I hoped as fuck to be put under the charm once again. Hoping that you would come around, hoping that you could see me as I saw you, for once, if at all.


You always compared yourself to others, how I was with them. Did you ever stop to wonder the difference in sentiments that I opened up to them? For the world, my range of emotional intelligence ranged from “oh fuck, that is terrible” to “oh faaack, that is absolutely brilliant!”. But you, you got the whole deal- from my tears to the wide ear to ear grins. We went down the lane to my inner sanctum, and what laid bare was my soul to you. We ran through the clouds and the only thing that came out was the rain. And for the life of me, I can never decipher what got lost in translation.


I looked at you, and I saw life. I saw the stars, the sunshine, and all that shit they say that makes one hopeful of the day that’s about to come by. The Sun, as well the Moon, you were the flower that made the world bloom. I was so accustomed to watch your face when you slowly drifted off to sleep, the tiny smile that stretched across your face when I kissed your cheeks and you drifted in your dreams. The soft little hands that I never wanted to let go, and the voice that woke me up each morning just when the night seemed to have taken its toll.  And I fell in love, with this, and all of that- I had promised myself that I will never commit the fallacy again, and you made me break it- so casually, no naturally. You never really had to do anything, you wouldn’t would have said a word, and I would have understood all what you meant. You wouldn’t would have moved a muscle, and I would have been on my knees.


On my knees. Looking up, at that smile. Looking up, into those eyes. Knowing that I belonged there. Knowing, that you knew it too. Knowing, that we might still have a chance. Knowing, that it could all fall apart. Knowing, with our lips entwined and eyes closed, this is a chapter that’ll define our lives from here to afar!







..And he never could realize,
When was it that the perfect life just passed him by?
There had been glimmers of hope the entire while,
Plucked away, a shimmer at a time.

If he put his thoughts coherently enough,
He could see what he once was.
His lofted vanity and buoyant mannerisms,
Even if it all were a mask.
Should never ever have,
He laid bare his naked self for a few,
Sold was his soul, and he cut himself some new.
He looked at the abyss and the abyss glanced back,
What is the question he never could attack?

The voices, they now dictate what he needs to do,
He submitted to them long before he knew.
They scream sometimes, but that’s just fine,
As long as his hollow shell pours itself some old wine.
His speech gets hoarse, the bones creak as he walks,
But the voices assure him that it’s the way of the lord.

But somedays, sometimes, they go on for a retreat,
As the clouds lift, he begs for another dream.
And thinking of dreams, he shudders and cries,
Weren’t they what got him here with their beautifully constructed lies?





 image courtesy Leonid Efremov


Lie with me for a while.
We’ll build castles that float in the sky,
And we’ll climb through the clouds,
to visit them by.

I’ll tell you stories that you may have never heard before,
And you appear intrigued like you didn’t see the twists coming at all!
We’ll laugh and talk and smile,
Every few minutes, steal a look into the others’ eyes.
The parallel universe, wouldn’t it be the best place for us?
No one could find us, no one but us.

We’ll jump around the places from time to time,
Travel in the old English carriages, and drink ourselves fine wine.
And we’ll stop in the desert and lie under the billion stars,
Maybe travel up north and cause ripples in the lights up far.

We will do this and so much more,
And it’ll all start here, my love,
In your gentle arms, we’ll travel up and above.



Lost Forever



“Oh not another one about me”, she said. “Aren’t you already bored of this muse of yours? Wouldn’t you want to look for some other inspiration? Your writing will become stale, mister!”, she toyed with him in that voice of hers that always used to make him go weak at his knees.
Today, as he looked back to this recent set of memories that came flooding by, he cursed himself one new. Why was he stupid enough not to keep reminding her that she is the one, that she is all the inspiration that he needs in this life.. and some more. Why were his actions so different from what he felt inside? Who was that he was lying to the whole time- whom, but himself?
“You know you can share sometimes. Sharing is good, it wouldn’t make you less of a man- how, how difficult is it for you to tell what is going on inside that poker face of yours?”
“Oh it is not that complex of a rocket science, my love. Just look in to my eyes”
Was it really that hard? Why couldn’t he have held her beautiful face at that very moment and planted a kiss that echoed his emotions. Why couldn’t he have cried the tears that he was fighting to hold to show her that he was sorry. Why couldn’t he make her see that the most beautiful thing for him in the world was to see her smile, and knowing that he was the reason behind that smile. That she was the person who made forever seem too short of a time.
“How did we end up at this place? We had started so perfectly, we had the world at our feet.”
“I don’t know, princess. You tell me”
Why was retracting to his shell, the best response that he had most of the times? Why couldn’t he admit that it was, after all, his fault that it did not work. Why couldn’t have he explained it then and there that love is all the small little things that they did together, which seemed insignificant to the naked eye, but whenever he looked back, these little moments were the highlights of his life. He had never understood people that very well, and they didn’t understand him that well either- but she has always been the special one, hadn’t she? All he wished from life was his art and to be the creator of his own universe, paint something anew, every single day, and she let him. Little did he know that he would be consumed by the world that he had created for himself and leave everything behind. Including his smile.
“What would you do baby, you know, if we ever fall apart?”
“I don’t know, darling. It will take some time, but you know me, I will be alright.”
These damning words! He remembers it as clear as the day he said those words. Did he not realize then what would he miss? It does take to lose something to understand the true importance of it, but the full realization of his naivety killed him to this day.
Each of the moments, a chilling sensation of what was not his; each of the tears, a morose reminder of what could have been.


Room – movie review


You’d read the movie description and might ponder if this would be anything remotely interesting, if at all. Make no mistakes, this slow paced adaptation of the book is excellent by all accounts. Brie Larson who plays Joy, the mother, delivers an impactful performance and William Macy is excellent as usual with the short role he is at in the movie. But the star of the show is the nine-year-old actor, Jacob Tremblay (Jack). He carries more than half of the movie on his slender shoulders effortlessly and with such maturity that you forget that this is a child actor that we are talking about here!


The movie showcases some of the most powerful emotions and shades of the human nature with delicate subtlety. It discusses the adaptability of the human mind by making the audience question how “relative” is reality when you see a room as your world. And the close connection between a mother and a child- they are the two people for each other in the whole wide world- is an extension of the womb and you cannot escape the feeling that if Jack sees the world outside for the first time, the experience would be nothing short of rebirth.


I cannot discuss it any further because of the fear of sending a spoiler or two your way. This is easily one of the best movies of 2015- it is powerful, funny, realistic and absolutely incredible. Be warned, it has the capacity to dig out a tear or two as well.

Do watch!